I’m sorry, but I feel like I need to write all of this down. Warning, it’s very negative. I woke up this morning trying to be happy and positive. I did my energy exercises while the kids got ready for school, but no positive feelings would come and I want to cry. I took the carpool very grumpily. As soon as the kids got out of the car I turned on The Secret and did some tapping. With how I was feeling, I didn’t care if anyone saw me. When I got home, I told Adam (5) that I needed a “time out” in my room for a while and took myself straight there. I started bawling. I immediately got on my knees and bawled to Heavenly Father, begging him for help. I feel such sadness, negativity and despair. Has all of my work for the last 5 weeks been for nothing? Am I just undoing all of that hard work right now? I need something great today to let me know that I’ve been on the right track and good things are coming to me. I need someone to support me. I need a mentor or someone to be here for me whenever I need it. I feel like I have no one. I don’t have a best friend. No one understands what I’m going through. My husband has no clue and is not here for me. I feel like he’s fighting against me. Where are all of these feelings coming from? Are they the 20+ years of negativity and despair that are surfacing and I need to tap them out? I got up from my prayer and immediately sat on my bed and tapped like crazy. At first I just tapped on my feelings of despair and sadness while I sobbed. I just kept tapping, and then whenever something came into my mind I’d include that. I didn’t even say anything, I just thought them. After about ten minutes of that, the despair and sadness went away. I wasn’t totally happy, but I needed to get out to Adam and get some of these things written down before I forgot them.
Some video clips just came in my email box from Bob Doyle in the free area of his website. He addresses more about the Law of Attraction that The Secret doesn’t really get in to, and also talks about the media, God or the Creator of the universe and all of these laws and how the Law of Attraction actually is crediting that Creator. That was huge for me to see and answered a lot of my questions!
I just tried to go on a walk. Less than a minute into it, my foot hurt, my knee was straining, and a muscle at the top of my leg hurt. All three of these were in the same leg. So I had to come home. I went straight to Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life to look at what she says are the mental causes of them. It was very funny what I found. I know that they were true! So I tapped on those.
I’ve still been feeling a little low today. I made sure I played with my boys a lot, which helped them and me. At about 9pm, I reviewed a little of the main things that I have been learning about: LOVE is huge (I looked up in the Topical Guide of my Bible and there are TONS of scriptures about love!), for yourself and everyone. I’m reminded of a children’s song that I grew up with: “Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.” Wow! That’s the Law of Attraction right there! I also love in John 3:16, “God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.” That’s amazing to me that he gave us Christ and the atonement and all that Jesus did for us because he LOVES us.
Gratitude is another huge one. I wrote down many things in my Gratitude notebook that I am thankful for today.
Carol Tuttle talks a lot about how we are conditioned to believe that it is HAVE, DO, BE, but we really are supposed to live our lives as BE, DO, HAVE. You need to Be first then Do (inspired action, not just working hard for something) and then you will Have. Other masters of the Law of Attraction have also talked about this. We need to be giving, as much as we can. And, we need to have our energy vibrating at a higher level (Love and Gratitude is the highest – I think that’s what I heard). After thinking about these things, it brought a lot of peace to me and I feel so much better!
