I hope that by sharing my honest experiences as I heal, that others will find help and hope. Start at the About My Quest tab.

I thought that depression and suicidal thoughts wouldn’t come back since I have been doing so well, but I think maybe I just have a weakness and I may always battle it.  I can definitely not slip back for too long since I have so much knowledge now as to how to combat it.  But it rears its’ ugly head still, and I don’t like it.  I wonder if I’ll every be completely free of it?  Maybe some of it has to do with my Energy Type (Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling), and since I am sensitive to many things (including food, negative energy, people’s criticism, pollen, etc.) I have a hard time dealing with them.  If things are not comfortable for me, in many ways, I struggle, and then if there is too much going on at once for me to deal with, depression sets in.  It is nice, however, that I am noticing these patterns in me so that I don’t need to judge it (I wish others wouldn’t as well) and try to do better.  But do I really need to change my sensitivity and need for comfort?  Do I need to change because people don’t understand me and because they aren’t the same as me?  Carol Tuttle says it is a gift.  Others don’t see it that way.  Sometimes I don’t see it that way.  But maybe others judge it because I still judge it.  Law of Attraction – if I can stop judging myself, then others will stop also.  And if I am afraid of criticism (I am), then I am bringing that criticism right to me.  So I am adding a note onto my Angel Wall, “Thank you for helping me to understand, love, and accept myself just the way I am, which will allow others to as well.”

Before I understood about Energy Profiling, I assumed that: people are different in the way they do things, but, we all should pretty much do things the same way.  Since learning about Energy Profiling, I am grasping that everyone is different, and they are not made to do things the same way.  For instance, when I meditate or need to de-stress or do some tapping, I need to go to somewhere quiet and secluded, and it helps even more if I lie down.  I can feel the negative energy leaving rapidly when I do these things.  But the energy that my body has is more calm, subtle, flowing, and introverted (Type 2).  For someone who has an energy that is buoyant, light, random, and social (Type 1), they most likely can’t go somewhere secluded and sit there, they would probably need to do something with more people, or go do something fun as they meditate and tap.

Another thing about Energy Profiling that has helped me so much, is in my business.  When Chris and I (we’re both Type 2) were first starting out our photography last year, I thought I had to be the Type 3 (swift, get-it-done) that I had been for many years to get people attracted to us.  But right from the beginning, things haven’t happened that way – people have come to us first, and it has been uncomfortable and unhappy for me to act like a Type 3.  I had a huge “a-ha!” this morning as I listened to Carol (Type 3) and Jon (Type 2) talk about their relationship and how they naturally do things in life.  Jon said that things just flow to him, and he doesn’t have to try to be like those people who have the swift energy.  And I realized that I don’t have to do that either, and that things HAVE been flowing to us!!!

It is so beneficial to know about Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling – in every aspect of life!!!!

The last few weeks I have been doing the “Something exciting is about to happen!” process that Carol suggested to do.  And I can honestly say that WAY more great and exciting things have happened to me in the last few weeks than usual.  Every day there is something great that happens, and alot of days there have been big things.  And I always make sure that throughout my day I am grateful for what I have, the things that have already happened to me, and the things that are about to happen.  I have an almost constant feeling of gratitude and love with me.  I love this process!

Carol Tuttle’s radio show podcast (can get from Blog Talk Radio, or iTunes, or thecarolblog.com) from 1/25/09 titled “Energy Profiling Dates and Gets Married” is a great intro to Energy Profiling if you don’t know about it yet.  She explains about Energy Profiling and then she and her husband talk about how it has effected their marriage.  Energy Profiling is SO life changing and incredible!!!!  It daily helps in my relationships with myself, my family, friends, strangers.  My kids and husband are starting to understand the differences in each of us, and we’re having more harmony in our family.

I just listened to Carol Tuttle’s podcast from August 3, 2009 “Learning to Live True to ME…” and towards the end of the radio show she responds to a few callers.  These last few minutes were amazing for me and just what I needed to hear right now.  Carol told one caller to enjoy the journey and process of this life, and not give herself a timeline as to when she needs to get past an issue.  This life is about the process we are all on to improve, so we need to enjoy it and be happy while we’re experiencing it all.  Carol has been practicing the Law of Attraction stuff for 18 years, and she still practices it daily and is still dealing with issues.

Another thing she said which was awesome was that out of all of the information that she has out for people, she says that Energy Profiling should be learned first to get to know our true nature.  I thought that was so interesting that she thinks it is the number 1 thing that everyone should learn about first.  And as I think about that, I agree with her.  I was introduced to Remembering Wholeness years ago and I liked it.  I read her next book It’s Just My Nature! when it first came out in 2009 and it completely clicked with me and I haven’t been able to stop talking or thinking about it.  It has done wonders for me in learning about who I really am and honoring myself, and also honoring everyone else and not expecting others to be like me.  So click here for the Energy Profiling website – that is where to start.  You can buy the book “It’s Just My Nature!” from there, she has specials on there frequently where you get the book and the online course and something else for a good price.  I’d suggest doing that.  Or you can just buy the book from Amazon.com or some other place.  The next step after you figure out what your energy type is.  You don’t determine it by how you act right now – because alot of us aren’t acting who we TRULY are.  I had acted completely different for 24 years.  This isn’t a personality test.  It is about your energy.  It might take a while to figure out your true Energy Type, but it is so worth it!  They have a few ways of helping us figure out what our true Energy Type is.  Then once you know that, then go to Dressing Your Truth to learn about how to dress the way that is honoring to your energy.  It really does make a difference.  Everyone who has gone through this system says it is life changing, and it really is!  It is amazing information and I am SO grateful for it!!!

I have been having so much fun the last 6 months learning about Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth, and I have loved sharing it with a few other people.  I wish I could share it with everyone, it is so amazing!  I’ve recently learned what Energy Types my children and husband have, and it has already helped so much in how I treat them and think about the way they are.  This helps me to not judge the things I consider to be their weaknesses, but are just different ways of doing things than I would do, and it is part of who they are.  Knowing my own Energy Type continues to help me understand myself better as well, and is one of the most beneficial things I have learned about on My Quest.

Here are two pictures of my sisters and I.  The first one is before any of us knew about Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling, and the second is Thanksgiving Day (which my husband took!) when we are all Dressing our Truth. This has helped each of us so much!

It has been a long time.  Today I realized some things that I needed to write down.  I have been spending so much time with photography, and loving it, that I have let many other things slide by with hardly a notice.  I know that when you love what you do and don’t want to stop, that is a good thing but also can be a bad thing.  Good because we should all do what we love, or love what we do, and bad because it can consume all of our thoughts and time and we neglect other worthy things.  I am very guilty of this, and it makes me feel guilty.  So I know that somehow I need to greatly reduce my photography time so that I am not neglecting all of the other things in my life that need attention.  I have also realized that I have let myself “forget” to be positive and grateful.  I have been complaining quite often the last few weeks and being negative about things, which by the law of attraction it is bringing more negative situations into my life.  I need to reverse that immediately before I get down too deep.  And the last thing I realized is that when I am too invested in something happening a certain way, or I expect it to be negative, then I am attracting the negative and pushing away anything positive that I want.  A few examples: my sister and I have been to a few events lately where there is a drawing for a prize.  Both times she has won something.  I asked her what she does to attract winning, and she said that she thinks about her name being called and her winning but then lets it go and doesn’t dwell on it.  And I think that is where I go wrong, that I get too focused on the thing that I want and don’t just “let it go” and so I am actually pushing it away.  I did a little experiment with that this week with some people who are a constant negative in my life right now.  I decided to just relax and not think negative thoughts about them and not be bothered with the things that they do that I don’t like.  That day the negative things that usually happen with them, didn’t.

There is one more thing that I have been thinking about lately and am finally writing about it.  First off, I LOVE the Energy Profiling system by Carol Tuttle, and am actually, finally, liking the way I look (well, more so anyway) because I have been Dressing My Truth and learning more about myself.  So, I have had so much to do the last month or more because of photography that I am constantly rushing and trying to get as much done as I can every day.  I have loved the photography stuff, but have not liked rushing and having so much to do because of the energy type that I am – it is going against my true nature.  Which is a negative just by itself, and then it seeps into other ways of bringing negativity into my life.  So I need to figure out how I can do the things that I love but stay true to myself.  I’m not sure yet how to do this.  And I need to write more in my blog.

My sister and I went down to Carol Tuttle’s Center for Living Your Truth in Draper for an open house she was having.  I am SO grateful that I went!  It seems that every time I go down there for something, issues come to my realization and then I can tap on them and be aware more so I can change my reality.  And I am realizing more and more that we DO create our reality.  Whether it’s a lack of money, or a need for drama so that I will be noticed and not fade into the background, or whatever.  I love that I am learning to live my true nature because of Energy Profiling, which greatly includes the Dressing Your Truth aspect.  I am trying more to live it, and get rid of behaviors that are not really me and don’t support who I really am.  It’s a learning process!  I am so grateful for Carol Tuttle and for the inspiration she has received, and then for the ability and desire to share it with others.  And I am grateful that she was giving away books and signing them, and that I got to talk to her for a few minutes and tell her how grateful I am for her and how much the information has changed my life.  She was also grateful that I told her that.  Unfortunately, I was very stressed while I was there about money and the lack of it that I have.  Fortunately, however, my sister recognized that in me and felt the stress I had and we talked about it, bringing it to my realization, and now I am off to get rid of that negative so that I can manifest an abundance and not always a lack.

I tapped on the issues I have been feeling lately about money, and I feel so much better.  I asked Chris to do an arm test to make sure that I am now creating prosperity, and I am.  Whew!  I need to keep it going now.  Also, I sent an apology and thank you email to someone that I might have offended because I wasn’t grateful for something I received this morning.  I feel better now that I forgave myself for not being grateful, for creating some drama, and after sending the email.  I feel like I have done all that I can do to remedy the situation (it wasn’t anything huge, but I need to even take care of the smaller things) and now I can learn from that experience, move on, and create more positive experiences in my life.

I haven’t talked about Carol Tuttle’s Dressing Your Truth and Energy Profiling in a while, so I’m going to now.  I realized that I am a Type 2 movement person a few months ago and have been dressing (plus hair and makeup) that way ever since.  It took me a little while to get used to it, but I LOVE it now!  I am having fun shopping (I used to HATE shopping, never thought I looked good in anything, didn’t know what to look for, would buy things and never wear them because I felt stupid in them, etc.) and I now feel good about the way I look every day.  Her system might not be perfect (what earthly system is?), but she has SO much great information that I just adore and I am so grateful for it!  Dressing this way also helps me to be validated in who I really am.  I don’t have to pretend to be someone else.  I am great for me and it feels awesome.  To give you a little testimony of this, I chatted with a woman today who goes to my church.  I don’t know her yet, and no one has ever given me such a huge and blatant compliment until now.  And I’m not writing this for my ego, but to show how this system just works!  So she told me (not verbatim), “I just feel that I need to tell you this.  I look up at you on the stand every Sunday (leading the music) and love the reverence you portray, and you are so beautiful.  You must have a gift for fashion,” I chuckled inside because I have not been fashionable probably ever, and that has been a huge topic of frustration for me, “and I just don’t have that gift.  I never know what to wear, but you just look so beautiful all of the time and I think it is so wonderful.” And she said that she couldn’t quite explain what she was meaning, but something about the whole picture of me.  I said that I think I understood what she was saying, but I unfortunately didn’t have time to explain Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth.  I was completely shocked!  I thanked her for that great compliment and she said, “Thank YOU!”  I don’t quite understand why she was thanking me for it, but the way I look lately obviously has had an effect on her.  I have never known anyone to thank someone for looking beautiful and “fashionable” (still not sure about that, but dressing my truth makes it seem that I am being fashionable because everything just works together and works with my energy).  Since I’ve been “dressing my truth”, people can tell that I look and feel better and they are noticing.  But most of all, I am noticing, and I love it.  I highly recommend everyone look into this.  Not so that other people will notice, but so that you will feel great about yourself and love the way you look.  I believe that God wants us to look our best, and feel our best.  And this information (Energy Profiling, and her book It’s Just My Nature! from the Store section) can help!  LOVE IT!!!

I’ve been struggling to know what to write here lately since things have been about the same with me.  Still having a hard time with my worth, and my quest has still been put on hold a little because I’m trying to get so many things done.  But today I’ve realized a few things and I am grateful for the experiences I had yesterday:

I woke up in a very negative state of mind and was very hard on myself.  I didn’t work at all to change it, and so it spiraled – just like the Law of Attraction says.  Over the next few hours I watched a family member get angry at another family member (in church, too!) and storm out as I was trying to lead the congregation in a song in preparation to partake of the Sacrament, I was told some things about other family members that were negative, my sister and I got in trouble by an irate man because we were talking in a place he didn’t want us to be, and then my husband got a nasty email (with a lot of it being about me as well) from a family member in the name of trying to have good family relations.  And all of this before noon!  The last one was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I broke down and sobbed.  But instead of being filled with hate and anger and many other negative feelings, I realized these situations are showing me that I need to be more Christlike and positive and that others are in charge of themselves.  I remember last week hearing from Carol Tuttle that our lives are like mirrors: if we have a negative experience, it is showing us that we still must have some issues to deal with.  And obviously yesterday I had some issues with myself and those experiences yesterday showed that to me!  I’m also reminded about the part in The Secret that tells about the gay man who was always heckled by people no matter where he went, because he expected it.  But when he changed that expectation, people left him alone.  So I guess with me being critical of myself, I am still allowing others to be critical of me and then tell me about it.  Also, I’ve been trying to learn lately that it is only up to us to change ourselves and being critical of others won’t change them.  And who says they need to change, just because we think they do!  I am glad that I am learning that this year.  It would be so great if everyone could learn it!

Today I’ve had a little bit harder time not thinking of the nasty email, knowing that someone has very negative feelings about me and my husband, and so I am going to do EFT and meditate for a little while and see if I can get these issues gone in myself.

A thought came to me as I was doing EFT that I remember from reading in Marci Shimoff’s book Happy for No Reason.  She says to question your thoughts, always asking yourself if they are true or not.  So often we think things that we assume are true but which actually aren’t.  We then act like those thoughts were true and cause ourselves much grief, and also causes others grief if we accuse them of things that we thought were true.  Judging others falls into this as well.  If we wouldn’t judge people, we’d be so much better off!  How can we judge others when we don’t know their thoughts or the things they do 24/7?  Many scriptures come to mind about this but I’ll only write this one, “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” I had been working on this earlier this year, but have let it slip and I’m grateful for yesterday’s occurrences that have reminded me that I need to be careful of this as well.

I also need to keep remembering that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me, only what God thinks and knows.  For as long as I can remember I have put my worth in the hands of others, so when others find fault in me I think I am a horrible person.  But God knows all, and He is the one that I need to look to to show me my worth.  Yesterday I heard the part in The Secret that talks about how magnificent each of us are, and I have read alot of things about that in the last few months from the leaders of my church.  I need to work harder on making this weakness of mine become strong, and I know that God will help me with it!

Wow, it’s been either Feast or Famine with my writing lately, and today is definitely Feast!

Something else I am grateful that I am learning is to celebrate people’s differences instead of expecting everyone to be like me.  I feel that some people don’t accepted the way I am and want me to change, because I am more introverted than them or I do things differently than they would, and they feel that I am “wrong” and need to change.  But especially with learning about Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling I’ve been able to accept myself as good enough, and accept others.  It’s actually been fun to look at someone and try and figure out what their Energy Type is, and then completely accept the way that they do things.  We are all different, and that is perfectly fine.  No one should try and change me, and vice versa.

It’s been a very interesting day so far.  This morning I let myself get upset and hurt about something, but I wasn’t able to take myself somewhere and do EFT and meditate about it until hours after.  But I was aware of the problem during that time and noticed some things about myself.  Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling has helped me so much with this, to understand who I really am, who I have acted like and then I have been able to realize why.  I have been pretty obsessed about  figuring out what type I am because I wanted it right away.  But today, I feel like I am getting it on a deeper level.   So since I’ve been aware of these things, I have been able to notice how I am in different situations and then more “revelations” if you will, come to mind as to why I had been so depressed and rude for so many years and it just makes so much sense (even if that sentence didn’t)!  Up until just now, I was thinking about the Dressing Your Truth stuff, and how Carol Tuttle says we should dress the way we are to support us, but I wasn’t agreeing with that.  I thought that we can dress however we’re feeling.  But now, I think I’m going to focus more on dressing my energy type in the hopes that it will remind me who I really am and how I want to be, just like a Vision Board or Movie.  I have finally decided that I am going to go to the Dressing Your Truth class for my type tomorrow night.  So with the knowledge of Energy Profiling, I feel like I am able understand and accept myself and others more.  This is definitely a journey, but one that I am so grateful that I am on, and I know that this will help me immensely.

Another thing that I might have discovered is that sugar might be making my knees and back hurt, and my arm not be able to heal all the way.  I ate a lot of sugar yesterday, and this morning several places in my body hurt.  It is going to be very hard, because I have had an addiction to sugar for so long, but then, this is perfect!  I am trying to change and improve myself, and so it’s high time that I get rid of this addiction.  I just wasn’t ready quite yet.

I am so excited and relieved!!!  I can’t remember if I wrote already about Nicholas’ school situation, but I have been nervous about him going to Junior High next year, and want to get him into this one school where supposedly the kids are really nice and tolerant of the special ed kids.  I have been praying and just having faith that he’ll get put where it is best for him to go.  But I was told a few weeks ago that he is to go to another school where the kids aren’t as nice and there are lots of problems.  So I prayed, continued with my faith that things will work out for the best, and then called the district and asked if they could look into having him go to the one we prefer, and hopefully that could be a good fit for the special ed class.  I just found out today that they changed it so he is going to go to the one we want!  I then called his new teacher and told her of my concerns about Junior High in general for him and she reassured me that the kids are so awesome with the special ed kids and there have been zero problems for them from the general ed kids.  I am SO relieved, this is such a great day!  So, prayer and the law of attraction work, and if something is right and you have faith and don’t doubt, they will “work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)