I hope that by sharing my honest experiences as I heal, that others will find help and hope. Start at the About My Quest tab.

I just listened to Carol Tuttle’s podcast from August 3, 2009 “Learning to Live True to ME…” and towards the end of the radio show she responds to a few callers.  These last few minutes were amazing for me and just what I needed to hear right now.  Carol told one caller to enjoy the journey and process of this life, and not give herself a timeline as to when she needs to get past an issue.  This life is about the process we are all on to improve, so we need to enjoy it and be happy while we’re experiencing it all.  Carol has been practicing the Law of Attraction stuff for 18 years, and she still practices it daily and is still dealing with issues.

Another thing she said which was awesome was that out of all of the information that she has out for people, she says that Energy Profiling should be learned first to get to know our true nature.  I thought that was so interesting that she thinks it is the number 1 thing that everyone should learn about first.  And as I think about that, I agree with her.  I was introduced to Remembering Wholeness years ago and I liked it.  I read her next book It’s Just My Nature! when it first came out in 2009 and it completely clicked with me and I haven’t been able to stop talking or thinking about it.  It has done wonders for me in learning about who I really am and honoring myself, and also honoring everyone else and not expecting others to be like me.  So click here for the Energy Profiling website – that is where to start.  You can buy the book “It’s Just My Nature!” from there, she has specials on there frequently where you get the book and the online course and something else for a good price.  I’d suggest doing that.  Or you can just buy the book from Amazon.com or some other place.  The next step after you figure out what your energy type is.  You don’t determine it by how you act right now – because alot of us aren’t acting who we TRULY are.  I had acted completely different for 24 years.  This isn’t a personality test.  It is about your energy.  It might take a while to figure out your true Energy Type, but it is so worth it!  They have a few ways of helping us figure out what our true Energy Type is.  Then once you know that, then go to Dressing Your Truth to learn about how to dress the way that is honoring to your energy.  It really does make a difference.  Everyone who has gone through this system says it is life changing, and it really is!  It is amazing information and I am SO grateful for it!!!

I’ve been struggling to know what to write here lately since things have been about the same with me.  Still having a hard time with my worth, and my quest has still been put on hold a little because I’m trying to get so many things done.  But today I’ve realized a few things and I am grateful for the experiences I had yesterday:

I woke up in a very negative state of mind and was very hard on myself.  I didn’t work at all to change it, and so it spiraled – just like the Law of Attraction says.  Over the next few hours I watched a family member get angry at another family member (in church, too!) and storm out as I was trying to lead the congregation in a song in preparation to partake of the Sacrament, I was told some things about other family members that were negative, my sister and I got in trouble by an irate man because we were talking in a place he didn’t want us to be, and then my husband got a nasty email (with a lot of it being about me as well) from a family member in the name of trying to have good family relations.  And all of this before noon!  The last one was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I broke down and sobbed.  But instead of being filled with hate and anger and many other negative feelings, I realized these situations are showing me that I need to be more Christlike and positive and that others are in charge of themselves.  I remember last week hearing from Carol Tuttle that our lives are like mirrors: if we have a negative experience, it is showing us that we still must have some issues to deal with.  And obviously yesterday I had some issues with myself and those experiences yesterday showed that to me!  I’m also reminded about the part in The Secret that tells about the gay man who was always heckled by people no matter where he went, because he expected it.  But when he changed that expectation, people left him alone.  So I guess with me being critical of myself, I am still allowing others to be critical of me and then tell me about it.  Also, I’ve been trying to learn lately that it is only up to us to change ourselves and being critical of others won’t change them.  And who says they need to change, just because we think they do!  I am glad that I am learning that this year.  It would be so great if everyone could learn it!

Today I’ve had a little bit harder time not thinking of the nasty email, knowing that someone has very negative feelings about me and my husband, and so I am going to do EFT and meditate for a little while and see if I can get these issues gone in myself.

A thought came to me as I was doing EFT that I remember from reading in Marci Shimoff’s book Happy for No Reason.  She says to question your thoughts, always asking yourself if they are true or not.  So often we think things that we assume are true but which actually aren’t.  We then act like those thoughts were true and cause ourselves much grief, and also causes others grief if we accuse them of things that we thought were true.  Judging others falls into this as well.  If we wouldn’t judge people, we’d be so much better off!  How can we judge others when we don’t know their thoughts or the things they do 24/7?  Many scriptures come to mind about this but I’ll only write this one, “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” I had been working on this earlier this year, but have let it slip and I’m grateful for yesterday’s occurrences that have reminded me that I need to be careful of this as well.

I also need to keep remembering that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me, only what God thinks and knows.  For as long as I can remember I have put my worth in the hands of others, so when others find fault in me I think I am a horrible person.  But God knows all, and He is the one that I need to look to to show me my worth.  Yesterday I heard the part in The Secret that talks about how magnificent each of us are, and I have read alot of things about that in the last few months from the leaders of my church.  I need to work harder on making this weakness of mine become strong, and I know that God will help me with it!

Wow, it’s been either Feast or Famine with my writing lately, and today is definitely Feast!

Something else I am grateful that I am learning is to celebrate people’s differences instead of expecting everyone to be like me.  I feel that some people don’t accepted the way I am and want me to change, because I am more introverted than them or I do things differently than they would, and they feel that I am “wrong” and need to change.  But especially with learning about Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling I’ve been able to accept myself as good enough, and accept others.  It’s actually been fun to look at someone and try and figure out what their Energy Type is, and then completely accept the way that they do things.  We are all different, and that is perfectly fine.  No one should try and change me, and vice versa.

I guess I have been thinking negatively and letting some stresses creep in lately.  Yesterday I had a painful physical issue that Louise Hay (and other sources) say is “gripping undigested ideas”, and today I have had low energy and my face has felt tight and it is hard to smile (and I don’t even feel like smiling).  I looked in her book for face as well and have done some EFT on these issues today as much as I can figure out.  I definitely feel better, but not where I want to be.  When I get some time later today I will meditate some more on what is going on in my mind.  And, why do I still not want to exercise?

I’m still bugged that I can’t figure out my Energy Type according to Carol Tuttle.  And I wonder why it’s such a big deal to me to know?  My face is tight and hurts again, and I am starting to get a headache, so obviously this is bugging me a lot.  I need to do some EFT on caring so much, and then keep my thoughts focused on something else.  I also need to tap on my OCD because I must still have it!

My sisters and I have been talking about Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth lately.  Some of us (especially me) are having a hard time figuring out what Energy Type we are.  It seems very confusing to me because I have so many qualities in each of the 4 Types, I don’t seem to be dominant in anything.  So what does that make me – Type 5, a classification of my own?  If so, how can I “dress my truth” if there isn”t a Type 5?  My thought is, why do I have to be a certain Type and dress that way every day?  Can’t I dress the way I feel that day?  So if I am in more of a playful mood and want to dress like the Type 1 that I am feeling like that day, and the next day I’m in more of a “get it done quickly” mood and dress like the Type 3 in me, does that mean that I’m not “dressing my truth”?  I don’t get it.  For me, it feels better to dress the way that I am feeling.  When I was depressed, I felt so much more comfortable in black – because it’s a lower energy and I had very low energy.  If I’d wear a color, I felt very uncomfortable.  My sister yesterday told me that when I wear black, it makes me look kind of gray.  And I feel it actually draining my energy, I don’t feel as alive and happy.  Which means to me that I’m actually not the Type 4 like I used to be when I was depressed.   There is definitely something to say about energy, though.  I’m just not sure I agree totally with Carol Tuttle’s way.  Like I said, when I wear black, I have low energy.  Today I am wearing an orange shirt, even though I don’t look good in orange.  But I feel like having more energy, and it seriously gives me more energy.  So, I’m wearing it!  (I just remembered, orange was my favorite color for years when I was little – hmmm)  I’ve gone through my clothes and put away anything that is black and dark brown.  I’ll save them for when I go to a funeral.   I’ve been fixing up my house more the last few weeks, and I’ve noticed that the way I had my house that didn’t bother me before is bothering me now.  I have some darker blue couches in my living room but it was making the room darker.  So I put some light couch covers on them, changed some things around, cleaned up my piles of stuff, and when I walk in the room now I feel more energetic and happier.  There’s something to be said about all of this.

The dinner I made tonight was supposed to be like something that my husband makes really well.  He asked me how I like it, and I said, “It’s not as good as yours.”  Matthew (10) said to me, “Stop saying that other people are better than you,” with a serious and pretty forceful look.  He’s right, I still compare myself and everything I do with others.  I am better than I used to be, but I still do it alot.  And for my 10-year-old to notice that, it must be pretty obnoxious.  So I am going to work harder at loving myself for who I am and not comparing myself to others.

Last week I helped Chris put our cabinets back up in the kitchen, but it hurt my arm and hand a little (the one that I hurt 2 years ago and didn’t heal much until my quest).  If this would have been 4 months ago, it would have still been hurting and I wouldn’t be able to use my arm and hand.  But it’s gotten better quickly, and I am using it the same as I did before the cabinets.  Hopefully soon it will finish healing from the initial strain 2 years ago.

The last few days I have been taking Carol Tuttle‘s Energy Profiling test online to figure out what my energy type is.  It’s been frustrating figuring it out because I am different now in many ways than I used to be, so I wasn’t sure what my true energy type is.  But I’ve really pondered about it (and I prayed about it, too) today and watched the tutorial again and am comfortable that I am still a Type 4, like I used to be.  I am scheduled to go to the Dressing Your Truth next week, and I am excited to hear what she has to say and to see how I feel to “dress my truth”.  I should be getting her new book this week, so I’m sure I”ll be talking about that as soon as I start reading it.

I went on Matthew’s school field trip today and was gone for about 7 hours.  I never would have consented to do that pre-quest, I would have been an anxious, angry mess.  But I actually enjoyed myself today, was calm and relaxed, and was glad that I went!  I had a great time with my awesome son, and as I watched the other kids it made me so grateful that Matthew is mine!